Cold-hearted bitch

This post is sponsored by some friend who though his joke was funny

Apparently a cold-hearted woman can't survive in this kind of world.

Do they all have to be the same?

Lovely sweet little pieces of cake? 

Can't someone be different?

When I think of it, I kind of encourage myself to think it is a joke. Sometimes I get through it, sometimes I don't. Yes, I know I can be a bitch sometimes BUT I have a heart and it seems like it beats. Somehow. Maybe that is fault of those chemical reactions inside my body, who knows.

I don't feel good right now. I mean, it is okay if I say it but somebody else saying I can't love? That's hard. Don't know if rude is the right word but it kind of hurt a bit. I try to think it was just a joke because they have told it to me so. It still hurts, so bad. It's not like I can not give someone a little of affection. It's just that it is difficult for me to get close to people. We can be really good friends but still don't give hugs everytime I see them.

Of course I was sad. It could be impossible not to feel that way. What he said actually made me reconsider everything I was doing in life. How I behave to my friends, family, everyone around. How I think, how wrong that may be, how mental sick can I be if I keep on thinking that. All those super important things came to my mind, I was absolutely shocked. There are some things I can not accept, like the fact that he practically told me I was a cold-hearted bitch or a less hearted bitch. *I´m assuming bitch as someone who treats people in a bad way not an actual whore*

Ok.

That is what I wrote several days ago. It was written just after I found out about my friend´s "joke" so I was really hurt and all that stuff. Now I feel like it was a good way to relief how I felt that night but seems like it has no point at all right now. Why? I don't feel like a cold-hearted bitch, I'm just kind of different. Most of girls get really excited about guys telling them nice things but I tend to analize everything, the context, the word, faces, myself, world, cancer's cure, everything that matters, of course.

I just realized it doesn't matter what everyone else could think of me (especially someone who doesn't really know me that much). I just need to ask to really close friends if they would think like that about me. No, I don't really need it, I know they don't think that way. I know it and that makes me so happy.